This isn’t just for married couples only, but for those who are seriously in a relationship.
We have heard of marriages that crashed after a few years and you ask yourself what went wrong? Are they those old fashioned folks that just come up to a ladies door and say:
I FOUND A BEAUTIFUL FLOWER IN YOUR COMPOUND SIR/MA?
Or as our spiritual inclined people:
IS THERE A STRONG MAN OR WOMAN FROM THEIR FATHER OR MOTHERS SIDE AFFECTING THEM?
Like my Aunt would always say;
Nnanna, make sure you get married to your friend.
She only meant build your relationship to be a friendly one. Life they say is complicated, but believe me its Easy when communication sets in. I guess am talking or typing plenty. Check this Questions and let us know what you think.
“What could I do to make you feel more understood?”
Most times we all think we know our lover inside and out, but the truth is that people change. Your partner might not be the same person now that they were when you first them, so it’s worth addressing if there are any slight differences between you two that makes the other person feel less heard or seen. With these, you’ll notice that many of these questions begin with, “What could I do to…” rather than just, “Do you feel understood?” or, “Do you feel loved?,” as it’s always better to enter a discussion in a way that would let your spouse know you’re willing to take actions to change.
“What could I do to make you feel more appreciated?”
It’s easy to take the little things that your spouse does for you for granted, and this question shows that you are aware of that and are actively trying to avoid this very human pitfall.
“Even if a couple is experiencing distress and difficulty in other areas, gratitude in the relationship can help promote positive marital outcomes,” Allen Barton,
the lead author of a study on the link between gratitude and marital outcomes, said in a university newsletter. For more tips like this, check out 30 Things You’re Doing Right That Will Improve Your Marriage.
“Are you happy?”
This is like an atomic bomb of questions, but it’s one you need to ask your spouse/partner—and, honestly, yourself—every once in a while to make sure the answer is (overall) a “Yes.”
“How do you vision our future together? What can we do together to achieve that goal?”
To me i feel every lady should ask her spouse, lover etc. and this is a particularly good one, as it ensures that you have the same vision for your future as a couple and are actively working towards it.
“Do you have any big dreams that you have yet to share with me? And, if so, how can I help you achieve them?”
One of the best parts about those first few years of dating is the “long walk stage,” where you, well, go on long walks and share your hopes and dreams. But, years later some time, your spouse might be reticent to share dreams that seem financially risky or even outlandish. Asking this question will help you spouse know that their individual pursuits are still important to you, and the follow-up shows—before they even answer—that you’re on their side.
“If you could change one thing about our relationship, what would it be?”
This is an, open-ended way of inviting your spouse/partner to share concerns without any of the negative connotations of “What’s wrong with our us?”
“What’s your happiest memory of us together?”
According to research published in Motivation and Emotion, couples who reminisce about their best times together report greater relationship satisfaction. But, if you’ve lost the spark in your relationship a bit, talking about the old times can also help you remember why you got together in the first place and infuse it into your current bond.
“Keep close in your mind some poignant memories of the first rushes of love—when you knew that you never wanted to be far from this person, when your heart felt a physical jump at the sight of them,” Lewis and Marsha McGehee,
who have been married 42 years, told Best Life.
“What would you like our sex life to be like?”
Well truth be told sex before marriage is bad. This is for marriage couple. It might sound like a weird question, but, according to certified sex therapist Kristin Marie Bennion,
“many couples in long-term relationships never talk about their sexual agreement until they hit troubled waters. It can be so helpful to talk about how often each partner would like to have sexual contact, what their understanding of fidelity is, and other ways of staying intimately connected when having a sexual experience just isn’t in the cards.”
“What’s your idea of an ideal marriage?”
Phrasing the question this way leaves room for your spouse to explain their priorities in a way that seems theoretical as opposed to specific to your marriage, and may therefore make it easier for them to express how they really feel in a sort of roundabout way.
“How do you feel our relationship is going?”
Dating and relationship coach Carla Romo, says asking a question like this in an open-ended way is better than flat-out asking,
“Do you think things are going well/badly?”
as it gives your partner a chance to fully express their thoughts and feelings instead of being boxed into a one-word answer.
“What can I do to make you know how much I love you?”
In a touching Reddit thread that went viral, an elderly widower wrote about how haunted he is by the memory of all the times his wife asked him if he wanted her to lose weight or if he still found her attractive, and how he wished that he had tried harder to make sure she always knew how much he loved her. Even if you don’t get a substantive answer to this question, in some ways, the question itself is probably its own answer.
“Where do you see our relationship in five years?”
People ask this a lot before they get married, but once they’ve walked down the aisle, it’s easy to assume it’s not necessary anymore. However, it’s important that your relationship continues to grow even after you’ve said your vows, and that you’re both on the same page about what that means for you.
“Is there anything I can do to make your day easier?”
This is a particular good one to ask a lady or your lady, 25 percent of couples have issues due to “disagreements about housework,” with the majority of the instigators being women. As this viral Facebook post from 2017 proves, it’s often the little things—like making your wife a cup of coffee in the morning or doing the dishes so she can watch her favorite TV show—that can make her feel truly appreciated and loved.
“What would you consider unforgivable and why?”
Don’t assume you know your spouse’s bottom line. The reality is that some people know they could forgive, say, a one-night mistake, but couldn’t get over the deception of a year-long affair.
“Knowing in greater detail what would deeply hurt your husband can bring a dose of reality and help protect your relationship,” Chipala.
“Why do you love me? And when did you feel most loved by me?”
It’s only fair that at least one of these questions would be a self-esteem booster, but this question also has a lot of practical value. You’ve already asked about some of the things you’re doing wrong that you should try to change, so why not find out what you’re doing right so that you can amp that up?
If Were To Have A Child, Would You Like His/Her Character To Be Like Mine?
Sounds funny and weird but this alone should explain alot about your relationship life.
Thanks for reading, have a great day.